Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Joshua's Journeys #1

It has taken a while to start this for no other reason than where should we start? We hope to share a memory, picture, story, anything that comes to mind about Josh on a weekly basis here. While we will not go in sequential order all the time, or much at all, I thought there is no better place to start than somewhere close to the beginning…

Josh’s Journeys #1: Tales from the Womb

Josh always seemed to have something to say or teach us. Before we really even knew we were pregnant we had a sign from heaven on Christmas morning.

It was at that moment we knew not only that were we pregnant, but expecting twins! The next day was the first ultrasound that confirmed everything. Without going into too much detail, I went into preterm labor and was dilated and effaced on March 31. I had my first of many hospital stays, and at this time had surgery to sew and keep the babies in the womb. I was put on bed rest at 19 weeks. After many hospitalizations, drugs, and steroids, I was placed on a pump to constantly deliver medication to my body to stop the contractions. Yes, it was stressful and worrisome, but the upside was that I had ultrasounds twice a week where I was able to see my babies growing and moving throughout the pregnancy.

We had no idea that Joshua would have CHARGE syndrome. However, one of the ultrasounds Josh was making a “C” with his hand, perhaps trying to give us a clue. From early on Josh taught me patience, how to let go, have trust and faith in God, the importance of family, and that life is so very precious. While on bed rest I was able to prepare the baby books and one of them included a spot for Mommy to write a letter to her unborn baby. I think this describes our early feelings of anticipation and explains a lot about Josh’s character even from the very beginning. Here is a clipped part of what I wrote to Joshua:

Dear Joshua,

Words can’t describe my feelings for you. I am so excited that your arrival is nearing. Dad and I have wanted both of you for so long, it is still hard to imagine that you will be in our arms in just a few weeks. We have cherished every moment of this pregnancy and can’t wait to finally meet you!
Joshua, you have been called Baby A by the doctor’s because you will be the first one to be delivered. You have nestled your way nice and low and although I hadn’t felt your kicks quite as often as Joseph’s, when you kick you mean business! You have also been the one to show your face on the ultrasounds. Although ultrasounds aren’t the best quality pictures, we can dream with a little bit of direction about you. Your feet are now kicking high, right next to Joseph’s head. One day Dad and I thought we actually felt the outline of your foot protruding from my belly. From the beginning you have been head down and ready to get into this world.

You have tried several times to make an early debut, but we want you to stay put for just a while longer. We have been getting ready for the two of you for quite some time, and can’t wait to have you here with us. Java is already donning her “Big Sister” collar in anticipation of your arrival. She is a very loving and protective girl that can’t wait to greet you with a kiss! Like her, there are many others waiting to catch their first glimpses of you and see how our lives will be changed forever. We have been so blessed to have you entering our lives and are so anxious to meet you. You are a wonderful miracle and have already made a big impact on our lives. Stay safe, stay healthy, and may God protect you and watch over you always. We will see you soon.

With Love and Joyous Memories to Come,



Eva Nichole said...

Lovely post and I love the idea of you both posting Joshua's Journey, its loving and a wonderful tribute to him and his life here on earth with all the people he loved and who loved him.
God Bless,
Crystal and Eva

Christy said...

Josh was certainly ready to make an entrance...I remember you asking me if it was normal to feel pushing like a rubber band inside...NO! It was Josh! He was so nestled I was frustrated that I couldn't feel him kick! What a blessed way to share the news of your pregnancy by showing the crosses that ONLY you and Phil saw. We love you Joshy!