Miss You Crys

I promised Ellen a blog posting about Crystal's service last night. It was a most beautiful service with lots of pictures on display and a video playing...every single picture had Crystal smiling, she was always smiling. Dan was very strong for his family and did a remarkable job socializing and remembering those that came in, Crystal had quite the social circle so it was not an easy task. Nicole and Crystal's mom held strong as well. Alex, Bailey, and Eva all dealt with things in their own ways, and I think everyone was starving for a hug from Eva, which like Dan mentioned it just makes you feel better to give her a squeeze. From our dealings with death, the first thought I had was how horrible that everyone is going to work today and getting on with their lives and there is this young family who wants the world to just stop, they want to let everyone know they are still grieving, they don't want anyone to move on, right now life sucks for them. I remember the day after Josh's funeral thinking how everyone was back to life as they knew it but our life was completely different, thinking how Dan is sleeping in a bed alone, even though he was before there was that hope that she'd be back. Just devastating. And my personal grief was that Crystal was the one that showed up to Josh's wake with Eva and I had no clue who they were... drove from Round Lake Beach to be there which any car ride more than a few minutes can be aggravating but to go to see someone you don't know, she was and is an angel. It just made things feel full circle last night, like I lost another part of what Josh had given me when he left our world. Phil explained to Alex how much that meant to him that Alex's mom was so selfless as to come and see us in our darkest time when she had never met us before. I wrote this, and hadn't posted it, thinking I would be adding on, I'm sorry for the delay Ellen, so much to process, and such a wonderful person that I am still trying to believe this all has happened. Not a day goes by I haven't thought about Crystal, Dan, and their kids. I pray for strength and comfort for them, and the ever presence of butterfly kisses.