It has not been the first time, nor will it be the last, but my hearts skips a beat each time Joey says "Josh is coming soon to play with me," "My brother is coming," "Josh is with Jesus," "When will my brother be here?" and a whole lot more of the like. Josh is a part of our family on a daily basis and is a part of our conversations. Joey many times will bring up Josh on his own and either ask questions or tell us something about his brother. It tugs at my heart strings to hear him talk about him in such a loving, fun, and playful manner, but also breaks my heart to know that it may be a long time before we see Joshua again. How do you tell a 2 1/2 year old what that means? He knows when we go to Assumption that is Josh's resting place and that he is in heaven with Jesus. How do you explain that he is a twin, that the feeling of something missing is the physicality of his brother, you know the one he spent squashed inside my tummy with and the first 8 1/2 months of his life? How do you tell him that we are going to Disney this year not because its Mickey's house, but because the CHARGE Syndrome Conference is there and we are a part of that family. We are entering the calendar time of when last year Joey had some behavioral issues such as crying in the middle of the night, pulling at his ear like Josh used to, crossing his legs in the same manner as Josh, and just acting out of sorts. It is really hard to explain, other than I truly believe that he knows his brother and had bonded with him in the womb and out, and as a twin knows a part of him is missing.
I want Jillian to know that she also has another brother, while she may have never met him on earth, they passed each other in heaven. It was within weeks of Joshua's passing that she was conceived. A lot of what we do as a family, who we are as a family, and what we want to achieve as a family is because of their brother Joshua Roy.
We love you Joshua.
1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.